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jiazhouLast year, I read a book that made me realise I disdained three of my friends. The book was Rejection by Tony Tulathimutte and the second chapter was the precipitation point. It felt a little freeing to realise it but ultimately I was too chicken to do anything about it but I realised in the aftermath of a national tragedy that I was no longer in the groupchat and felt such an intense relief. It felt like I was scrutinised and judged whenever I said anything, especially by someone who had cheated, which was a little befuddling but I suppose that's how a lot of people rationalise their infidelity. That it wasn't their fault.
There was another incident I found out about a couple months after. Originally, I met her through work as a volunteer for our organisation and we quickly became friends for a handful of months. She liked to talk enneagrams and read so we did buddy reads for a while. Our book tastes did not align and neither did our fortitude in the reading process. I read The Portrait of a Lady in full and she listened to an abridged version. I later found out she projected her mother's neuroses and manipulative manner onto me and had held an angry grudge against me for half a year before I reached out to catch up and she informed me thus. That and five of her six friendships in the last twelve months had crashed and burned spectacularly. I wish I was making that up. I didn't even ask. She shared it. She had notes written down.
There was another incident I found out about a couple months after. Originally, I met her through work as a volunteer for our organisation and we quickly became friends for a handful of months. She liked to talk enneagrams and read so we did buddy reads for a while. Our book tastes did not align and neither did our fortitude in the reading process. I read The Portrait of a Lady in full and she listened to an abridged version. I later found out she projected her mother's neuroses and manipulative manner onto me and had held an angry grudge against me for half a year before I reached out to catch up and she informed me thus. That and five of her six friendships in the last twelve months had crashed and burned spectacularly. I wish I was making that up. I didn't even ask. She shared it. She had notes written down.
